TRUST YOUR GUT.
“Trust your gut” – we’ve all heard this phrase, often as advice or wisdom, without acknowledging the vague nature of this advice. Trust your gut, sure – but what does that mean? You know that feeling you get deep in the pit of your stomach? No, it’s not IBS – that’s your body communicating something to you.
Ok, so it may not seem like Baby Erin doesn’t apply here, but your experiences in childhood can help shape and sharpen your intuition as an adult.
Speaking from experience as a woman, women of a certain age – mostly millennials or older – have been conditioned throughout our lives to place the comfort and needs of others above our own. We set aside feeling uncomfortable or feel like we need to push our own feelings down so as not to inadvertently express emotions that could upset another. Unfortunately, this has also trained us to ignore that uncomfortable feeling in our stomach, that feeling of our bodies sending us very important signals to let us know that this is not our path. Our gut says, “The vibes are off, sis,” and we respond with, “It’s fine; everything is fine.” This is a common vicious cycle most women (and frankly, some men) find themselves in – but it doesn’t have to be that way.
In the latter part of my 30s, I found myself looking back on moments that turned out to not work in my favor – an interaction that felt off, sending in a project draft too quickly, a relationship that was very much one-sided – and while I could logically see it in hindsight, I wanted to learn how to understand that feeling better and listen to it. What I have found is that it not only has it forced me to put my needs first, but it has also taught me the following skills:
Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast – it is better to take a beat and slow down than it is to get tasks done as quickly as possible.
If it Doesn’t Feel Complete, Then It Isn’t – this can be tied to the first, but it also can signal that it might be an opportunity to collaborate with a trusted partner, colleague, or friend.
You Don’t Have to be Friends with Everyone – there will just be some people you just don’t jive with, and that’s okay. You can still be kind, but you don’t need to expend energy trying to get them to like you.
People Have Off Days – we all have rough days or awkward moments, so if the interaction feels weird, but you’re not getting that red alert from your gut, there’s an opportunity for a second impression.
Is it Your Gut or Biases? – taking opportunities to learn about stereotypes, microaggressions, and where they come from can help you learn the difference between that gut feeling or the need to dismantle your previous miseducation.
Walking Away Can Keep You Safe – once you learn what that signal your gut is sending feels like, it can be the signal that keeps you alive. Learning to understand and trust that sinking feeling about a person, a situation, or an area and making a quick exit can just be the thing that keeps you safe.
Learning is a part of life, and if you are always open to learning about yourself, others, and the world around you*, you are only giving yourself the tools to continue to create a better version of yourself. We are always a work in progress.
*This does not apply if the information you’re consuming can be easily refuted or debunked – holding onto that shit will only hold you back.
As I approach a new decade in my life, I look back on photos of myself from five, ten, and fifteen years ago and know that I am a completely different version of myself today. I still remember those versions of me – sometimes I wish I could put my arm around her and say, “It’s all going to be okay” – and understand the mistakes and missteps that created the person I am today.
